The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
