Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
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Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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