So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
