sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
