Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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