Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize