i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
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You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
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Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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