blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i've created a new STD.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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