You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
