God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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