I wish I could punch you in the face.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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