Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
