I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she told me i tasted like america
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
