: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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