Moan for me like Helen Keller
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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