...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
