'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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