you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
