I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
