You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
