dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
