The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
