it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize