somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Nobody cheats on THIS.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
