They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you told grandpa to call you daddy
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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