Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You can't motorboat a personality
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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