using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
