She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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