My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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