I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's no shave November. This is our time.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
