In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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