3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize