I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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