It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
