Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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