We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
