I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
