just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
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He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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