i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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