she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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