Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
