I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
