I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
