things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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