Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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