I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
