Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
