I need help removing her.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
