Please, let me fuck your mom
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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