just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
God, I missed his penis.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
