yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
