try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His hands were made for my vagina.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
