remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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