This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
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But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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