He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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