this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
