why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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