I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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