I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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