How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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