This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
