literally had 100 drinks last night.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
whose ass print is on the piano?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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