after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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