i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
