Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
