Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
