I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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