when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize
