If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
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